Have you ever drifted off course in your life? Maybe we let our prayer life slip a bit. We let bad habits creep in and good ones go. We wait too long between Confessions. We haven’t been bold in sharing our faith with others in a long time. It happens to us all. 

Most of us don't notice we've drifted until something forces us to take notice of what is happening. A spiritual crisis. A retreat. Prayer that shakes us up. A hard conversation with a friend who loves us enough to tell the truth. By the time we finally see it, the drift has often been going on for months. Sometimes years.

The Catholic spiritual tradition has always known this. That is why it recommends a regular examen - a prayerful and honest look at our own lives in light of who Jesus actually calls us to be. An examen is recommended by St. Ignatius of Loyola for daily use. Not as a way to manufacture guilt. As a way to catch the drift early enough to do something about it.

A disciple of Jesus is an apprentice in the art of holiness, mission, and virtue. Apprentices don't grow by accident. They grow by paying attention to where they are imitating the Master well - and where they are not. What follows is not a list designed to make you feel bad. It is a list designed to help you grow. I really wrote it for myself, because I need to sit with these things too.

So, I encourage you to sit with it prayerfully. 

Slowly go through it.

Be honest. 

Then bring what surfaces to to the Lord in prayer and then to Confession. If you have a spiritual director, discuss what comes up with them.

An Examen for Catholic Disciples

*On the Heart*

• Do you let your emotions, desires, and passions rule your decisions - or do you discern what God wants and then follow his will, even when it costs you?

• Do you put God first in all things in your life - or do you have some parts for of life for God and other parts for the world?

• Do you live for the praise of the world - or has the praise of God become enough?

*On Time, Money, and Stewardship*

• Do you find yourself worshiping the idol of comfort - or do you seek out the right things, even when uncomfortable or difficult to do?

• Do you spend money freely on eating out, coffee, entertainment, and luxuries - or do you intentionally have a plan to tithe?

• Do you spend hours on social media, Netflix, games, etc. - or have you sanctified your day in setting aside time for prayer, service, and acts of love?

• Does food have a power over your life that is unhealthy - or do you eat wisely, fast regularly, and have control over your diet?

• Do you pour your best energy into worldly success, money, or status - or do you make sure you have the best part left for your family, your friends, the poor, or your community?

*On Humility and Community*

• Does pride keep you from seeking out help from others - or do you sit at the feet of a more mature disciple in order to learn and grow?

• Do you shy away from accountability with peers because it might mean you have to change - or do you make time for real Christian community where you can be honest, vulnerable, and held to what you said you wanted?

• Do you spend mental energy on hobbies, sports, podcasts, and current events - and then have little interest in the Word of God or the teachings of the Church?

• Do you spend time on gossip, flattery, insults, profanity, boasting, etc. - or do you make the time for conversations and words that are life-giving, challenging, uplifting, encouraging, and loving?

• Do you hold grudges, fail to forgive others, allow resentment to settle in, avoid the discomfort of difficult conversations - of do you humble yourself and forgive others, love when you aren’t loved back, and choose what Jesus would in relationships?

*On the Sacramental and Prayer Life*

• Do you go months without the Sacrament of Confession - or do you receive it regularly enough that you are actually fighting the same sins instead of merely accepting them?

• Do you treat Sunday Mass as an obligation to fulfill - or do you come hungry for the Eucharist and leave changed by it?

• Do you check the box on a quick prayer - or do you have a real, daily, personal time with the Lord that nourishes intimacy with the Holy Spirit?

• Do you spend time with Scripture every day, allowing God to speak to you - or do you just let another day pass without hearing his voice in this way?

• Do you wallow in your suffering by complaining, avoidance, or anesthetizing them - or do you take up your crosses and allow God to work in them for your sanctification and the good of others?  

*On Mission and Witness*

• Do you concern yourself with building a reputation and being accepted by others - and then avoid sharing your faith so as not to cause division?

• Do you stay safely inside the circle of other practicing Catholics - or do you actively seek out relationships with those who do not yet know Jesus?

• Do you find your own comfort more important than the salvation of others - or are you willing to be inconvenienced, misunderstood, even mocked for the sake of someone's soul?

• Do you work at building an intentional community of other disciples that is helping you and others grow in faith - or do you just settle into whatever is offered locally, no matter how good it is?

*On Vocation, Work, and State of Life*

• If married: Do you take the time to form your children, teach them to pray, invite them to give their hearts to Jesus - or do you farm out the formation of your children to others?

• If married: Do you love your spouse well, even when you aren’t getting along - or do you hide, foment discord, or settle for dysfunction?

• If you work in ministry: Do you have a lifestyle of missionary discipleship that imbues every part of life - or do you allow “work” to substitute for a life of discipleship, prayer, evangelization, and service?

*A Prayer*

Jesus, help us, your disciples, conform our lives to your own. Teach us your ways. Where we have drifted, draw us back. Where we have settled, unsettle us. Where we have been comfortable, make us courageous. Grant us a passion and a firm conviction that we lose nothing by following you, but gain all. Amen.

*An Invitation*

Drift is normal. Staying drifted is a choice. 

I invite you to choose to walk toward Jesus and not just allow a slow drift away. Be bold. Choose Jesus. You will never regret it.